Understanding the division between your thoughts and your ability to control your body is something to really underscore for those who struggle with binge eating. It may sound a little silly, but I think it’s truly worth stating clearly:
Your thoughts cannot move your body.
There have been so many harmful messages that have sprung up from erroneous ways of thinking about thoughts. For example, in the past, psychologists thought that any thought that appeared indicated a true desire. If a mother had a fleeting intrusive thought that she might harm her baby, the psychologist encouraged her to analyze that thought, implying that she indeed must have that desire—when in fact, it could just be a junk thought that means nothing. A binge thought, also, may be something that comes through the mind, and we don’t have to pay it any mind, but if we pay attention to it, thinking it’s important or means something, or if we follow the urge by acting on it, it will be more likely to come back.
Truly, I think some of the old Freudian analytical thinking and dream analysis has left an indelible toxic stain on our cultural psyche because it makes people think that the weird stuff that pops up in their head actually means something when it really doesn’t. Having a thought of something doesn’t mean anything. Just because we have the control to sometimes intentionally think thoughts does not equal us being able to control our thoughts 24/7. And whatever comes up that is uncontrolled is not equal to our true hearts, hopes, dreams, and intentions.
Furthermore, whatever we think does not equal action. Just because we have a thought does not mean we have to act on it. Even if the thought in our head is screaming (to go to the store and buy XYZ food and eat it all ASAP), we can just imagine that voice like a little baby throwing a fit and you calmly say no, or it’s an alarm clock that is broken and you shrug and turn it off, or it’s a stray cat that is meowing and you don’t feed it, or it’s just a static-y TV channel that you let make noise for the moment.
The thought cannot reach into your brain and make you move like a marionette. You are not a puppet. Even when you are experiencing an urge to binge, you have control over your motor movements.
Here is an experiment. Next time you feel a hint of an urge to binge, sit on your hands and say out loud, “Hey urge, move my hands.” Your hands will not move. If you move your hands, it is because YOU chose to release your hands, not an unconscious force taking over your body and moving your limbs. You have the motor control to vet the suggestions of the urge voice.
Yes, dissociative tendencies are linked to binge eating but not to the extent of full-blown fugues; AND the earlier you catch the urges to binge (let’s say 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 out of 10), the more likely it is you can engage in grounding strategies to prevent further dissociation. So, you ARE in control of your body. The thought of a binge is not a fact, prediction, command, or anything else other than a fleeting thought that you don’t have to give a second thought to, other than making sure you are aware you are giving yourself sufficient support around it, such as sensory support or calling friends/sponsors.
Takeaways:
- If you experience an urge to binge, it’s okay—you can allow it to be there.
- You are in control of your motor movements.
- Thoughts are not commands.
- You can make the conscious choice to act in alignment with your values and true intentions.