In this episode, I’m joined by Brian Baumal — registered psychotherapist, owner of Aliva Psychotherapy in Toronto, and someone who has walked the road of recovery himself. After living through exercise bulimia and binge eating disorder for nearly nine years, and maintaining a 100-pound weight loss for close to 14 years, Brian now specializes in helping others heal their relationship with food through a psychologically grounded, deeply compassionate approach.

Brian’s work sits at a unique and often underexplored intersection: the tension between the structure that food addiction recovery genuinely requires and the very human reality that perfection is neither possible nor the point. What he brings to this conversation is rare — clinical expertise layered on top of lived experience, and a framework that holds both accountability and self-compassion at the same time.

Here’s what we explore in this episode:

The difference between perfectionism and toxic perfectionism Brian draws an important distinction between the drive for structure — which can be genuinely helpful in food addiction recovery — and the self-destructive spiral that follows a slip. Toxic perfectionism isn’t about the mistake itself. It’s the shame, guilt, and psychological beating that comes after it, and why that internal violence does far more damage than the slip ever could.

Why food addicts are especially vulnerable to black-and-white thinking People recovering from food addiction tend to think in absolutes. One slip becomes proof of total failure. Brian explores how this all-or-nothing wiring — while understandable — is exactly what makes the abstinence violation effect so dangerous, and how to interrupt it before it takes hold.

How to build an abstinence plan that empowers rather than restricts Rather than handing clients a rigid list of arbitrary food rules, Brian uses a staged approach to abstinence — one that begins with the most likely trigger foods and evolves collaboratively over time. The goal is to build a recovery that belongs to the person, not one imposed on them.

The role of shame in sabotaging recovery speed One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is Brian’s reframe of why people want results so fast. It’s rarely about health. It’s about wanting the shame to stop — the comments at family dinners, the clothes that don’t fit, the feeling of being watched. Brian explains how naming and slowing down that shame-driven urgency is often the most therapeutic thing a provider can do.

What a non-perfectionistic response to a slip actually looks like Brian shares how he supports clients in real time during a binge — including offering text access during crisis moments. His approach isn’t to hit the brakes or pile on more shame. It’s to stay present, acknowledge that reaching out is itself a victory, and gently deconstruct what happened once the person is ready.

The “sleeping dragon” reframe — and why it changes everything One of Brian’s clients described their food addiction as a sleeping dragon. Not something that makes them powerless — but something they have the power not to poke. Brian explains how this reframe returns agency to the person and shifts the conversation from shame to conscious decision-making.

Why “good enough” might be the most radical idea in food addiction recovery In eating disorder recovery circles, “good enough” is a familiar concept. But in food addiction recovery, it’s rarely discussed — because it can feel like permission to fail. Brian makes a compelling case for why embracing good enough, while continuing to evolve and refine, is not a weakness. It’s the only sustainable path.

If you’ve ever spiraled after a slip, wondered how to hold structure without rigidity, or felt like your drive for perfection was quietly working against you — this episode will give you a new way to think about all of it.

Recovery isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about learning not to abandon yourself when you don’t.

Watch the full episode on the Beyond Binge Eating YouTube channel, and don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more conversations about recovery, holistic health, and life beyond binge eating.